It's December 31st,2011. I sit in conflict between the hockey game and my favourite music on Seaside FM. A quieter evening by choice since last night was a rip roaring time with my family.
I know that New year's Eve is lonely for some,especially those who are adjusting to loss in the past year. .... finances, health,relationships,on a big or small scale...it's a big deal emotionally when it's personal or affecting a loved one.
The past can be a haunting ghost. "Should have,would have,could have" are voices of torment. I have yet to meet someone without such regret.
It's hard to reflect without getting self critical. But if I had 2011 to do again, I would spend less time in my head,as if expecting to reduce life to a clear road ahead or formula for health,happiness,wealth or perfection.
I love to learn but the more I learn,the less I know.Life is a puzzle and a mystery at times. I will never understand everything in my past ,although i like to have a plan,I am reminded daily that planning for an unknown future is no substitute for the reality that I have no clue about what the future holds.A dear friend of mine loves to say,"I don't know what the future holds but I know who holds the future."
I would spend less time worrying about it.
I would spend less time trying to be rational and I would spend less time trying to gain
approval from others .
I would be open to the unexpected.I would welcome it as a reminder that making a plan is not the same as running the show or being in control.I would do without my tendency to look upon the element of surprise as a potential enemy.
I would do more for fun,without having to justify everything as useful.
I would not take myself so seriously.I would not be so preoccupied with what next ?Instead I would ask what now?
Speaking of now,I would cherish now just as it is,just as I am,I would open my eyes in the morning and thank God that everything works,even if it creaks a bit.
Now,I realize that it's over. The year 2011 is over,and it was better than the year before.I realize that i have another chance. It's called 2012. You have it too no matter what you have faced in the past year.
You and I have another chance ...to enjoy life and honour the life we've been given.Happy New Year !
Saturday, 31 December 2011
Tuesday, 6 December 2011
A BOOMER'S DIARY
"Don't cry because it's over.Smile because it happened."(Dr.Zeus)
I doubt that he was thinking of an aging population.But as one who would be considered a boomer or post war baby,I love it. My feelings are somewhere in between tears and laughter. I have a good sense of humour and have learned to laugh at my own foolish ego. Oprah speaks of the ego as a source of torment,reminding us we are tricked to believe that we are not enough and more will help. If you buy this,more money,more recognition,luxury cars and a huge bank account are the path to great fulfillment.
So, I laugh at myself. I knew better but I still pushed all these buttons. And if I was capable of tears,I would cry buckets for time I have wasted building my own little empire.
Moreover, I know that I am not alone.We live in a culture of consumption where more is better. The bug infects many who fall prey to easy credit and advertising.
I have always been a people pleasing,placating guy. I hate conflict although I have been lucky enough to work with others more direct and confronting. Most of my heroes are social workers. Their work can't be measured by popular standards of our culture. Social workers, teachers,nurses and others in the so called helping professions are not among the rich and powerful. Many work in a highly political system where professional standards may be lost in a cloud of impression management and appearances.
I have had my share of trophies and wounds. I worked hard but didn't make much of a professional splash. I was fortunate to marry a good woman and raise four children. I am now a grandfather of two beautiful children.
At my age, health concerns begin to surface.Friendships and relationships become more important. Relinquishing preoccupations of the last forty years for the benefit of more time and freedom is not so easy after all. Accessories of anxiety and depression are often included.
Still, many of us have had enough of the daily grind. We long to make our remaining years the best, perhaps by reaching our peak.However, we're not quite sure what it would look like.
Emotionally,I find it a difficult time in my life. It may just be that feelings I've carried for years have now finally demanded to be considered..
If we are fortunate enough to have children and grandchildren,the spark in our hearts becomes a torch. We see that much of the rest doesn't really matter. If we have someone to share these years,we are blessed. If it happens to be the person who has been with us for a lifetime,we look around and find that we are a vanishing breed.
I would love to hear from you and share your story. One great thing we share as boomers is life experience.You and I have lived through the turmoil and hope of the sixties, we followed our dreams,we struggled,endured disappointment,made mistakes,felt sad,guilty and still did our best. We have a story as we enter the last third of our lives.
I would like to think it's a story worth telling.The wise learn from the previous generation. The Occupy movement has an important message about greed.We have lived long enough to know the meaning of enough and to realize that striving for more and more is a sorry substitute for a fulfilling life.
in the sixties, we challenged the status quo. Maybe we still have it in us.
I doubt that he was thinking of an aging population.But as one who would be considered a boomer or post war baby,I love it. My feelings are somewhere in between tears and laughter. I have a good sense of humour and have learned to laugh at my own foolish ego. Oprah speaks of the ego as a source of torment,reminding us we are tricked to believe that we are not enough and more will help. If you buy this,more money,more recognition,luxury cars and a huge bank account are the path to great fulfillment.
So, I laugh at myself. I knew better but I still pushed all these buttons. And if I was capable of tears,I would cry buckets for time I have wasted building my own little empire.
Moreover, I know that I am not alone.We live in a culture of consumption where more is better. The bug infects many who fall prey to easy credit and advertising.
I have always been a people pleasing,placating guy. I hate conflict although I have been lucky enough to work with others more direct and confronting. Most of my heroes are social workers. Their work can't be measured by popular standards of our culture. Social workers, teachers,nurses and others in the so called helping professions are not among the rich and powerful. Many work in a highly political system where professional standards may be lost in a cloud of impression management and appearances.
I have had my share of trophies and wounds. I worked hard but didn't make much of a professional splash. I was fortunate to marry a good woman and raise four children. I am now a grandfather of two beautiful children.
At my age, health concerns begin to surface.Friendships and relationships become more important. Relinquishing preoccupations of the last forty years for the benefit of more time and freedom is not so easy after all. Accessories of anxiety and depression are often included.
Still, many of us have had enough of the daily grind. We long to make our remaining years the best, perhaps by reaching our peak.However, we're not quite sure what it would look like.
Emotionally,I find it a difficult time in my life. It may just be that feelings I've carried for years have now finally demanded to be considered..
If we are fortunate enough to have children and grandchildren,the spark in our hearts becomes a torch. We see that much of the rest doesn't really matter. If we have someone to share these years,we are blessed. If it happens to be the person who has been with us for a lifetime,we look around and find that we are a vanishing breed.
I would love to hear from you and share your story. One great thing we share as boomers is life experience.You and I have lived through the turmoil and hope of the sixties, we followed our dreams,we struggled,endured disappointment,made mistakes,felt sad,guilty and still did our best. We have a story as we enter the last third of our lives.
I would like to think it's a story worth telling.The wise learn from the previous generation. The Occupy movement has an important message about greed.We have lived long enough to know the meaning of enough and to realize that striving for more and more is a sorry substitute for a fulfilling life.
in the sixties, we challenged the status quo. Maybe we still have it in us.
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