It's December 31st,2011. I sit in conflict between the hockey game and my favourite music on Seaside FM. A quieter evening by choice since last night was a rip roaring time with my family.
I know that New year's Eve is lonely for some,especially those who are adjusting to loss in the past year. .... finances, health,relationships,on a big or small scale...it's a big deal emotionally when it's personal or affecting a loved one.
The past can be a haunting ghost. "Should have,would have,could have" are voices of torment. I have yet to meet someone without such regret.
It's hard to reflect without getting self critical. But if I had 2011 to do again, I would spend less time in my head,as if expecting to reduce life to a clear road ahead or formula for health,happiness,wealth or perfection.
I love to learn but the more I learn,the less I know.Life is a puzzle and a mystery at times. I will never understand everything in my past ,although i like to have a plan,I am reminded daily that planning for an unknown future is no substitute for the reality that I have no clue about what the future holds.A dear friend of mine loves to say,"I don't know what the future holds but I know who holds the future."
I would spend less time worrying about it.
I would spend less time trying to be rational and I would spend less time trying to gain
approval from others .
I would be open to the unexpected.I would welcome it as a reminder that making a plan is not the same as running the show or being in control.I would do without my tendency to look upon the element of surprise as a potential enemy.
I would do more for fun,without having to justify everything as useful.
I would not take myself so seriously.I would not be so preoccupied with what next ?Instead I would ask what now?
Speaking of now,I would cherish now just as it is,just as I am,I would open my eyes in the morning and thank God that everything works,even if it creaks a bit.
Now,I realize that it's over. The year 2011 is over,and it was better than the year before.I realize that i have another chance. It's called 2012. You have it too no matter what you have faced in the past year.
You and I have another chance ...to enjoy life and honour the life we've been given.Happy New Year !
Saturday, 31 December 2011
Tuesday, 6 December 2011
A BOOMER'S DIARY
"Don't cry because it's over.Smile because it happened."(Dr.Zeus)
I doubt that he was thinking of an aging population.But as one who would be considered a boomer or post war baby,I love it. My feelings are somewhere in between tears and laughter. I have a good sense of humour and have learned to laugh at my own foolish ego. Oprah speaks of the ego as a source of torment,reminding us we are tricked to believe that we are not enough and more will help. If you buy this,more money,more recognition,luxury cars and a huge bank account are the path to great fulfillment.
So, I laugh at myself. I knew better but I still pushed all these buttons. And if I was capable of tears,I would cry buckets for time I have wasted building my own little empire.
Moreover, I know that I am not alone.We live in a culture of consumption where more is better. The bug infects many who fall prey to easy credit and advertising.
I have always been a people pleasing,placating guy. I hate conflict although I have been lucky enough to work with others more direct and confronting. Most of my heroes are social workers. Their work can't be measured by popular standards of our culture. Social workers, teachers,nurses and others in the so called helping professions are not among the rich and powerful. Many work in a highly political system where professional standards may be lost in a cloud of impression management and appearances.
I have had my share of trophies and wounds. I worked hard but didn't make much of a professional splash. I was fortunate to marry a good woman and raise four children. I am now a grandfather of two beautiful children.
At my age, health concerns begin to surface.Friendships and relationships become more important. Relinquishing preoccupations of the last forty years for the benefit of more time and freedom is not so easy after all. Accessories of anxiety and depression are often included.
Still, many of us have had enough of the daily grind. We long to make our remaining years the best, perhaps by reaching our peak.However, we're not quite sure what it would look like.
Emotionally,I find it a difficult time in my life. It may just be that feelings I've carried for years have now finally demanded to be considered..
If we are fortunate enough to have children and grandchildren,the spark in our hearts becomes a torch. We see that much of the rest doesn't really matter. If we have someone to share these years,we are blessed. If it happens to be the person who has been with us for a lifetime,we look around and find that we are a vanishing breed.
I would love to hear from you and share your story. One great thing we share as boomers is life experience.You and I have lived through the turmoil and hope of the sixties, we followed our dreams,we struggled,endured disappointment,made mistakes,felt sad,guilty and still did our best. We have a story as we enter the last third of our lives.
I would like to think it's a story worth telling.The wise learn from the previous generation. The Occupy movement has an important message about greed.We have lived long enough to know the meaning of enough and to realize that striving for more and more is a sorry substitute for a fulfilling life.
in the sixties, we challenged the status quo. Maybe we still have it in us.
I doubt that he was thinking of an aging population.But as one who would be considered a boomer or post war baby,I love it. My feelings are somewhere in between tears and laughter. I have a good sense of humour and have learned to laugh at my own foolish ego. Oprah speaks of the ego as a source of torment,reminding us we are tricked to believe that we are not enough and more will help. If you buy this,more money,more recognition,luxury cars and a huge bank account are the path to great fulfillment.
So, I laugh at myself. I knew better but I still pushed all these buttons. And if I was capable of tears,I would cry buckets for time I have wasted building my own little empire.
Moreover, I know that I am not alone.We live in a culture of consumption where more is better. The bug infects many who fall prey to easy credit and advertising.
I have always been a people pleasing,placating guy. I hate conflict although I have been lucky enough to work with others more direct and confronting. Most of my heroes are social workers. Their work can't be measured by popular standards of our culture. Social workers, teachers,nurses and others in the so called helping professions are not among the rich and powerful. Many work in a highly political system where professional standards may be lost in a cloud of impression management and appearances.
I have had my share of trophies and wounds. I worked hard but didn't make much of a professional splash. I was fortunate to marry a good woman and raise four children. I am now a grandfather of two beautiful children.
At my age, health concerns begin to surface.Friendships and relationships become more important. Relinquishing preoccupations of the last forty years for the benefit of more time and freedom is not so easy after all. Accessories of anxiety and depression are often included.
Still, many of us have had enough of the daily grind. We long to make our remaining years the best, perhaps by reaching our peak.However, we're not quite sure what it would look like.
Emotionally,I find it a difficult time in my life. It may just be that feelings I've carried for years have now finally demanded to be considered..
If we are fortunate enough to have children and grandchildren,the spark in our hearts becomes a torch. We see that much of the rest doesn't really matter. If we have someone to share these years,we are blessed. If it happens to be the person who has been with us for a lifetime,we look around and find that we are a vanishing breed.
I would love to hear from you and share your story. One great thing we share as boomers is life experience.You and I have lived through the turmoil and hope of the sixties, we followed our dreams,we struggled,endured disappointment,made mistakes,felt sad,guilty and still did our best. We have a story as we enter the last third of our lives.
I would like to think it's a story worth telling.The wise learn from the previous generation. The Occupy movement has an important message about greed.We have lived long enough to know the meaning of enough and to realize that striving for more and more is a sorry substitute for a fulfilling life.
in the sixties, we challenged the status quo. Maybe we still have it in us.
Sunday, 2 October 2011
DO BELIEFS MAKE A DIFFERENCE ?
It's a rainy Sunday in Nova Scotia ! Rainy days and Sundays could be downright depressing.Thankfully there is football and baseball, unless you happen to be a news junkie, in which case you have lots of material to put you in a dark mood.
But for some of us,Sunday has great possibilities.I grew up in a Christian family environment. No, it wasn't perfect .There were lots of challenges as I remember. And yet,my mother made sure I knew I was loved and saw to it that I knew I am a spiritual being , loved by God,no matter what mischief I created.
Then I went off to university where it wasn't real if it couldn't be measured , But my doubts really started with adolescence.
Now,about fifty years later, I realize that I have been blessed in life in spite of myself.When there has been trouble,I was the enemy,devoted to making a case against myself ,even as I supported others. I became an expert at helping others and ,at the same time, even more proficient at self -criticism.
Fortunately, the early messages haven't been erased.Nor can they be.
Why am I telling you this?Well, I suspect that many struggle with this personal dynamic.Whether or not you do,I welcome your comments. I'm not suggesting that there is no need for self evaluation, but objectivity can quickly yield to subjectivity when it comes to looking in the mirror. Facts can quickly become twisted to support a negative conclusion.
In spite of reasonable success professionally and personally, good enough has never been a concept I understood...I was never good enough Sound familiar?I know that I'm not alone. Paul Newman said it,others have said it,many have experienced it...the gut feeling that disqualifies the positive and blocks every thought but the worst one called...what's wrong with me anyway?
Scott Peck said in The Road Less Travelled that life is difficult. This is surely true ! Growing up is difficult,relationships are difficult, marriage and parenting are difficult,making a living is difficult.Two persons with identical circumstances respond differently.Background, education and experience contribute to this response. Yet,who can deny the reality of mind chatter and the raw power of judgement and contempt. Yet ,we also have the capacity to face,even overcome,our circumstances, fear and doubt. Beliefs about ourselves and others often make the biggest difference in setting goals,making choices,enjoying life.
Henry Ford said,"believe you can..you're right.Believe you can't ..you're right"Too simplistic you say.Many great truths are simple to understand but hard to do. Beliefs haven't been given much play lately...do we even know or care what our leaders believe?Is it possible that the choice of beliefs about ourselves is relevant to international conflict,the economy,substance abuse and violence,
I believe this to be true! For sure, life as I know it has been affected by my beliefs. Absolutely true ! How about you ?
But for some of us,Sunday has great possibilities.I grew up in a Christian family environment. No, it wasn't perfect .There were lots of challenges as I remember. And yet,my mother made sure I knew I was loved and saw to it that I knew I am a spiritual being , loved by God,no matter what mischief I created.
Then I went off to university where it wasn't real if it couldn't be measured , But my doubts really started with adolescence.
Now,about fifty years later, I realize that I have been blessed in life in spite of myself.When there has been trouble,I was the enemy,devoted to making a case against myself ,even as I supported others. I became an expert at helping others and ,at the same time, even more proficient at self -criticism.
Fortunately, the early messages haven't been erased.Nor can they be.
Why am I telling you this?Well, I suspect that many struggle with this personal dynamic.Whether or not you do,I welcome your comments. I'm not suggesting that there is no need for self evaluation, but objectivity can quickly yield to subjectivity when it comes to looking in the mirror. Facts can quickly become twisted to support a negative conclusion.
In spite of reasonable success professionally and personally, good enough has never been a concept I understood...I was never good enough Sound familiar?I know that I'm not alone. Paul Newman said it,others have said it,many have experienced it...the gut feeling that disqualifies the positive and blocks every thought but the worst one called...what's wrong with me anyway?
Scott Peck said in The Road Less Travelled that life is difficult. This is surely true ! Growing up is difficult,relationships are difficult, marriage and parenting are difficult,making a living is difficult.Two persons with identical circumstances respond differently.Background, education and experience contribute to this response. Yet,who can deny the reality of mind chatter and the raw power of judgement and contempt. Yet ,we also have the capacity to face,even overcome,our circumstances, fear and doubt. Beliefs about ourselves and others often make the biggest difference in setting goals,making choices,enjoying life.
Henry Ford said,"believe you can..you're right.Believe you can't ..you're right"Too simplistic you say.Many great truths are simple to understand but hard to do. Beliefs haven't been given much play lately...do we even know or care what our leaders believe?Is it possible that the choice of beliefs about ourselves is relevant to international conflict,the economy,substance abuse and violence,
I believe this to be true! For sure, life as I know it has been affected by my beliefs. Absolutely true ! How about you ?
Wednesday, 7 September 2011
CROSBY GETS IT !
Thankfully ,we have a world class athlete who is taking the courageous step of putting his health ahead of the sport he loves.This,no doubt,is more difficult than most realize for this young man and his family. For the Crosby family,be sure that hockey is next to breathing.
But this guy is all about restraint and discipline.Even without the skates,these qualities separate him from many who seem to use hockey as an outlet for aggressive behavior. Hockey has become a blood sport to prove superiority on and off the ice. When parents of their minor league offspring turn from cheering their team to fighting with each other,it's natural to wonder if a deep breath and reflection might be in order.
Fortunately, Crosby is a true star athlete whose passion,skill and stardom have not clouded his understanding that, when it's over,health is more important than fame and fortune. It's to be hoped that the suits behind the glass recognize that the sport prospers because of gifted athletes.Their speed and skill is to be honoured and protected,not devalued by tolerating and enabling destructive behavior.
Does anyone really think winning is worth the sacrifice of young,talented players on or off the ice? Is anyone really thinking?....time for a deep breath and reflection about the future of this great game.
But this guy is all about restraint and discipline.Even without the skates,these qualities separate him from many who seem to use hockey as an outlet for aggressive behavior. Hockey has become a blood sport to prove superiority on and off the ice. When parents of their minor league offspring turn from cheering their team to fighting with each other,it's natural to wonder if a deep breath and reflection might be in order.
Fortunately, Crosby is a true star athlete whose passion,skill and stardom have not clouded his understanding that, when it's over,health is more important than fame and fortune. It's to be hoped that the suits behind the glass recognize that the sport prospers because of gifted athletes.Their speed and skill is to be honoured and protected,not devalued by tolerating and enabling destructive behavior.
Does anyone really think winning is worth the sacrifice of young,talented players on or off the ice? Is anyone really thinking?....time for a deep breath and reflection about the future of this great game.
Monday, 29 August 2011
Dog only knows Loyalty
Come on people ! Jack Layton said that love, hope and optimism could change the world as we know it.No doubt he was at times discouraged at times but his vision of a better world is a spark and it's up to us to start the fire. Twitter and Facebook give us the technoLogy to reinforce these values every day.As Jack said," Lets get moving." Dogs know loyalty and practice it.We know loyalty to ideals and we too have the capacity to practice it. Come on now -lets get moving!
Tuesday, 16 August 2011
What the World Needs Now
In my community,there is a small radio station,Seaside Fm, which has been the single creation of one man, Mr Wayne Harrett. With nothing more than 10 watts in his garage,Mr Herrett had only his love of radio and a conviction that another music choice, combined with heart for the listener's daily concerns,would meet a need overlooked by corporate radio.
From these humble beginnings,, it's not surprising that Seaside has grown a large audience, attracting a contingent of volunteers that includes retired announcers , masterful in their conversational ability and genuinely enthused to be devoting their free time to Seaside programming.
Seaside strikes a cord because it's genuine and listens to the pulse of the listening public... professional but also real,personal and respectful..
It's easy to get more than a little discouraged about the global economy, famine in Somalia and gridlock in Washington over political philosophy while Libya and Syria destroy their own.
At the same time,there are great untold stories like this one ...positively great ..we don't often hear about them.But, the Seaside story, and others like it ,bring hope and reassurance that good ideas can survive,creativity can overcome formidable obstacles and great things develop from small beginnings.It's easy to forget that we choose our focus. In reality,the state of our world is not all good...but..thankfully it's not all bad either. For sure these are tough times...but hopeless?..not yet !
From these humble beginnings,, it's not surprising that Seaside has grown a large audience, attracting a contingent of volunteers that includes retired announcers , masterful in their conversational ability and genuinely enthused to be devoting their free time to Seaside programming.
Seaside strikes a cord because it's genuine and listens to the pulse of the listening public... professional but also real,personal and respectful..
It's easy to get more than a little discouraged about the global economy, famine in Somalia and gridlock in Washington over political philosophy while Libya and Syria destroy their own.
At the same time,there are great untold stories like this one ...positively great ..we don't often hear about them.But, the Seaside story, and others like it ,bring hope and reassurance that good ideas can survive,creativity can overcome formidable obstacles and great things develop from small beginnings.It's easy to forget that we choose our focus. In reality,the state of our world is not all good...but..thankfully it's not all bad either. For sure these are tough times...but hopeless?..not yet !
Thursday, 11 August 2011
Have we gone to the dogs?
During a particularly difficult time in my life,I wrote a little book,specifically for my grandchildren. As one who loves animals,I have always found the pets in our family a stress release.In fact,the lives of my family members have been enriched by close observation of animals and their response to love and disciplined training. I'm not saying we should worship our pets, although I admit I've come close.It is true,however,that the human race may not be so smart after all. Maybe it's time to humble ourselves enough to learn from the four legged members of our family that we love and take for granted. Most animals are loving,reliable,true in their affection,grateful for the blessings of food,shelter and companionship.Most are predictable in their actions.We count on them to be with us no matter what happens. ..a mark of true friendship.
It's easy to understand our pets without the benefit of language. They rise or fall with us,no matter if we rise to the pinnacle of our careers or fall into the depths of despair.They are with us until the day they die unless we die first.,always present ,always loyal and accepting of their value in creation.
Why is it so hard for us to live up to these standards ? I don't know why...I just know it is.Maybe our furry friends have learned something that we have forgotten.Or maybe they knew it all along. Dog only knows.
It's easy to understand our pets without the benefit of language. They rise or fall with us,no matter if we rise to the pinnacle of our careers or fall into the depths of despair.They are with us until the day they die unless we die first.,always present ,always loyal and accepting of their value in creation.
Why is it so hard for us to live up to these standards ? I don't know why...I just know it is.Maybe our furry friends have learned something that we have forgotten.Or maybe they knew it all along. Dog only knows.
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